As Valentine’s Day approaches in a matter of hours, I’d like to take this opportunity to express some of my personal problems with the “holiday,” if you can call a celebration created by a card-company (Hallmark) that. First, I think it’s horrible that the social pressure of Valentine’s Day pushes many people to be/stay in destructive or unhappy romantic relationships. And on the other hand, some people avoid romantic relationships within a certain time window of Valentine’s Day (i.e. Jamie Foxx’s character in the new movie Valentine’s Day).
Second, I think it’s horrible that Valentine’s Day undervalues non-romantic relationships, qualifying social success or satisfaction by solely romantic standards. I recently “broke up” - so to speak - with a best friend. It would be an insult to that friendship and a blatant exaggeration of any romantic relationships I have had to say that friendships are less important than romantic relationships, and therefore deserve to be less celebrated.
Moving on to the movie “Valentine’s Day” that came out on February 12th (Friday). I saw it earlier this evening, and was rather disappointed. I got sucked in by the previews (Mc Dreamy and Mc Steamy on the same screen, a reference for Grey’s Anatomy fans) and was really hoping it would have a bit more substance. But it failed to deliver more than a few laughs and a few great performances - namely by Julia Roberts (who has never been anything but perfect in my opinion), Queen Latifa, and Jessica Biel, all of whom had well-written characters. As a whole, the film mostly fell short because it suffered from trying to say too much at once: you love people with their flaws; we are imperfect people; we think too much; America’s youth is as stupid as Taylor Swift, in a disturbing role that personally made me want to puke.
But the film raised one very important question for me: are our expectations for others too high? Should we not expect more from people, in the sense that people don’t deserve second chances? Who decides?
That's the great thing about romance- it is what you make of it! Every relationship is different and unique, so how can anybody generalize if "our expectations for others [are] too high?"
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think Valentine's Day is a great way to rekindle lost sparks in stagnant relationship (dating, marriage, etc.) and you are looking at the class half-empty. Sure, Valentine's Day is not the best day when you are single, but it can be used to celebrate with your single friends,serve as an excuse to ask out that crush of yours, or to get caught up on all your work. Let's not also forget that it helps to stimulate the economy when people are throwing tons of money into flower shops, card shops, and See's Candies!
Valentine's Day is really just awkward for everyone. When you aren't in a relationship, you feel worthless and an oddity within society. When you are in a relationship you have to strive to impress your significant other with how much you care about them, traditionally through the socialized formats of buying candy, flowers, and over-the-top cards. Even if you make the more romantic gesture of making a home-cooked meal it comes with the social ability to recount to friends just how "down you earth" your relationship with that person is.
ReplyDeleteI also saw the movie Valentine's Day and completely agree with your assessment that they tried to tell too much in too compact a program. Sadly this is routinely the issue with big cast movies. As for the movie's deeper themes, I think it is only natural to hope for the best for yourself and your love life. Thus, to occasionally have too high of expectations is only natural.
Now, whether or not people deserve second chances really comes down to the situation at hand. How wronged do you feel by what was done? Can the person avoid doing this again? This is definitely a decision that you must decide, not your friends or family, but you, because you are the one who has the potentially to both enjoy the benefits of giving someone another chance and the person who could suffer the consequences.
As someone who has never celebrated Valentine's Day with a significant other, I can't help but have a slightly idolized view of the holiday. It may be pathetic, but I can't wait for the day to spend the day with someone. I think that it's true that the holiday brings about too much pressure for all of us. I agree with your point that it is kind of a pointless holiday that stresses the importance of romance in a relationship. However, I don't think that trying to get people to show some effort in their relationship is a bad thing. Romancing your significant other every now and then is an important aspect of any relationship.
ReplyDeleteTo answer you question on a romantic relationship being equal to friendships...the idea is that you have that "special someone" to celebrate one "special day" with. Generally speaking, best friends are great, but not who you would want to share a romantic dinner with obviously. The movie made it look like the friends were the back up when the significant other failed (hence the I hate Valentine's Day party), so I don't think that was too out of line. I agree that the movie lacked substance, but they did a good job of depicting very realistic and not necessarily happy couple dynamics. Particularly Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Alba. I think most would agree that the movie shouldn't be viewed as anything other than eye candy as per the ridiculously good looking cast.
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